**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
