A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
