i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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