I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
