is your mom at the bar?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
