My friends, they love my intelligence
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
handjob tips. give me some.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Randomize