On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
