did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
