1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
