Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
