he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This is classic penis vs brain.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
