It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
