i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
