I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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