we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Actions speak louder than pants.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
