he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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