conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
