It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
