i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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