i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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