obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
