he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Why can't burritos get me drunk
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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