how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
