you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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