Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
