i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
