You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
