Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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