check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize