yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
