Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
