She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
