R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
