Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
