I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
