So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
