And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
