so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just high enough for therapy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize