Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
