Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
