we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
