from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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