Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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