dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
