This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize