Banned from zoo.
Again?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
