All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I love you. Go after that dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize