i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish you could order shots online.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
