he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
