Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
