I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
