I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
