I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
