no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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