no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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