You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
