We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you never un-have a 4some
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
