well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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