honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
