Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
