Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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