at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
