I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize