lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
