Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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