Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize