There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
