So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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