My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
