Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
