Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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