im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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